HAMMOCK

JP loved hanging out on Grandma K and Grandpa A's hammock when he was little:

(6 weeks)

I guess Baby J isn't so sure:

(12 weeks)

PARADE

MATERNITY LEAVE

And, it's over.

12 weeks. Gone.

Today was one of those days that I could have gone without.  But it had to come sometime.  Back to work.  Of course, I love all three monkeys the same, but I just could not get Baby J out of my head all day.  Perhaps this is because the longest I've ever been without him before today was six hours.   Or maybe it was because the realization that I will never have this long of a vacation (not exactly the right word!) until I retire.  My eyes were glued to the tiny clock on my computer screen.  Baby J should be napping now.  Oh, I bet Baby J is awake now. This is when Baby J smiles the most.  I sent messages to our nanny a few times and I just stared at the pictures she sent back to me.

Life is complex for sure.  We all are called to take on so many roles; and trying to navigate the balance between these roles can be daunting.  When I kissed my babies good-bye this morning, my eyes were overflowing with tears.  They are so beautiful.  So young and moldable.  And here I am leaving them all day long.  Tremendous guilt overtook me.  But then I stepped into work- wearing real clothes and high heels- receiving welcome hugs from everyone- and I felt needed.  I quickly found myself using medical words and conversing in ways that I just couldn't with toddlers.  Patients asked me questions, and I had answers.  I was intellectually challenged.

Deep in my heart, I know that being a professional makes me a better mom and wife.  And being a better mom and wife makes me a better professional.  And I know it will take sometime for my new life- my real life- of trying to do it all comes into balance.

But for now, I will just rock Baby J a little bit longer as he drifts off to sleep ….

THE BIG FIVE

Somehow A and I have managed to have off on each of JP's and AA's actual birthdays- until today.  We normally have spent these days doing something together as a family- driving up to the cities and visiting a museum, water park or the zoo.  With A away (and tomorrow I go back to work!), I tried to keep with the theme of doing something special without driving far!

JP awoke at 6 AM eager to put together a box of Lego's.

We had our normal birthday doughnuts and sang Happy Birthday.

We opened presents with Daddy on speakerphone.

We played outside, and then we went to the movie theater.  Yes,  I took all three monkeys to the theater.  Even Baby J.  Our local movie theater has kids movies for $1 on Wednesday mornings.  Thankfully, none of the Big Kids had to go potty, and Baby J didn't make a peep for the entire 90 minute showing of Disney's Turbo (which, I must say, is one of the most dumb movies ever).  They had a blast!

We played in our neighbors sprinklers and new trampoline in the hot sun- and apparently, all of this birthday excitement zapped the energy from JP during quiet time!

To end the birthday celebrations, Grandma K joined us for fun at Chuck E. Cheese's. 

I'm pretty sure JP didn't care that we stayed in our city all day!

BIRTHDAY LETTER

To my JP on your 5th Birthday:

Five years ago today you made me a momma!  If I close my eyes hard enough I can almost hear the doctor exclaim, "It's a BOY!"; I can almost smell your sweet baby skin; I can almost feel your tiny head  burrow into my chest as you take a nap.  But when I open them, I see a boy.  A real live big kid boy.  With hair as white as the winter snow and eyes that still sparkle with blue.   An engineer mind and a playful heart.  Your personality dazzles with innocence, compassion, persistence, and creativity.  You ask the most delicate questions and the way you take on your role as the Big Brother just melts my heart each day.

You are now FIVE years old.  May you continue to be a tiny light in this world.

And as I sing to you each night: May the Blessings of the Lord be upon You.  I bless you in the name of the Lord. 

Love,
Mommy

GRANDPA A

While Daddy has been MIA for the last two months, Grandpa A has filled in as the male in JP's life.  There are just some things I can't do … T-ball lessons, golfing, wrestling, fishing, and go-karts.

Sometimes it is hard to tell just who is having more fun!

SUMMER

Summer 

plus the last week of maternity leave

equals

ice cream every day!

SUPERHERO SCRAMBLE

JP is almost FIVE!  When asked what kind of a birthday party he wanted this year, his response was:  "A SuperHero Party!"  And that it was.  JP's closest friends (Charlie, Brayden, Quinn, Julia), neighbors (Gwen, LuLu, Ronan, Keean), and family gathered at the Children's Museum for a SuperHero Scramble.  Even the baby cousins dressed up in costume!  We all had a great time!

(And the best part?:  there was no mess at my house!)

BAPTISM

Wearing the very same gown that my grandfather wore for his baptism … along with all of the family members since … Baby J was baptized tonight.  We were lucky enough to share the night with almost all of our grandparents, aunts, uncles, and cousins (we missed you Aunt M and family!).   

Aunt J and Mr. C are Baby J's Godparents.  We couldn't imagine more perfect persons for this title!  

A few weeks ago in church, JP whispered to me:  "Momma, does Baby J know God?" His quiet voice and innocence brought tears to my eyes.  "Well, yes, he does … and we'll celebrate that at his Baptism soon," I responded.

And that we did.  Baby J truly knows God now.  And I am so thankful.

SPOILED

I waited until I was 24 … my mom until she was 50 ….but AA?  Well, she had her first (okay, maybe second, Grandpa T!) pedicure at age 3.  Grandma K insisted we take her.  As absolutely adorable as she was, I really don't want this to become a routine.  Do you hear that, Grandma?  

SWIMMING LESSONS

One of my goals for the summer is to have the Big Kids learn how to swim.  They've been in lessons before … but those lessons were held weekly in a COLD middle school pool and I needed to get in the water with them.  Plus, those lessons were over one year ago.  The Big Kids love being in the water, but we really don't have frequent access to a pool (well, other than our back door neighbors, of which I am attempting to befriend for selfish reasons!).

Now that we live on the other side of our city, we are much closer to the outdoor pool in a nearby little town.  They have lessons for the Big Kids for two weeks straight.  Outside.  And I don't even need to get in!  JP and AA LOVE the water.  In may final weeks of maternity leave, I've been able to take them back and forth to lessons each day.  Today was their final day of this session- and JP passed Level I. 

They'll take a two week break and the be back for four more weeks of lessons.  Here's to hoping my summer goal gets met!

FATHER'S DAY

 Happy

 Father's

 Day

 Daddy!