It seems like just yesterday when I locked myself in our hotel bathroom in Mackinac Island (while Daddy, Jackson, and Addie were fast asleep) as I watched my pregnancy test pulse: YES. Indeed, those three letters changed my life forever. In those first moments of your existence, I was so scared. I was scared for you, scared for me, scared for your brother and sister. Scared for your Daddy. I couldn't help but recall the recommendation to avoid pregnancy from my high risk obstetrician. Tears flowed from my eyes. Although my mind was so scared, my heart was so happy. I just knew that God created you for me. For our family. For all of us. I just knew everything would be okay.
It seems like just yesterday when Daddy and I took your siblings out to eat at The Loop and announced that we were going to be a family of 5. Jackson and Addie were so excited. Daddy and I were so excited. We opened up the tiny envelope that read "Congratulations, you are having a BOY!" I remember every moment about that evening.
It seems like just yesterday when we were walking to the Bug Park with your brother and sister. As I felt your twirl inside, a sense of peace came over me. In that moment, we just knew. Your name would be Jude. St. Jude is the patron Saint of the Impossibilities; and this is just how we felt about you. We are so blessed to have you in our life.
It seems like just yesterday when Daddy was stroking my hair as I lay on the operating room table. Everything seemed to be going okay until all of a sudden, the doctors started shouting at one another. I felt tremendous pressure. I was so scared. But within minutes, I heard your first cry. I cried. Daddy cried. Although my hands were strapped down, Daddy held you on my chest. You stopped crying immediately. I kept crying. This was one of the happiest moments of my life.
It seems like just yesterday when I saw your first smile. When I heard your first giggle. When I watched you roll over for the first time. It seems like just yesterday when you crawled down the hallway and when you took your first steps. It seems like just yesterday when you gave me your first big kiss and called me Mamma.
You have brought so much joy to my life. The way you bat your big brown eyes makes my heart melt. Your smirks and your smiles and your big personality are already beyond your years. Your sweet voice and marched out steps will forever be imprinted in my heart.
The other day, I overheard Jackson telling Addie: "I just love Jude sooo much, I'm so glad he's our brother." I couldn't have said it any better.
Baby Jude, I just love you. And I'm sooo glad you are my son. May God Bless you all the days of your life.
Love,
Mommy
No comments:
Post a Comment